Sorry I haven't posted in a little while but it was a pretty emotional start to the month. The days leading up to Colten's birthday were SO hard on me! I cried so much that I think I ran out of tears by his actual birthday. The morning of his birthday Dale and I went to the cemetary to watch as they finalized setting his bench. It is so beautiful and I couldn't have asked for a better present for him and myself on that day. Jan (my aunt) worked extra hard and did some wheeling and dealing to make sure it was there on his birthday and I couldn't be more grateful to her. Just have to add that she is by far one of the most amazing women I have ever met and there is no way I could have made it through all this without her! I am so blessed to have her as my family! Anyways, not only did she manage to get the bench there and set, she also worked miracles and the picture tile was there as well! It made such a difference to the day. After the kids got out of school we went with the rest of the family to be there with him on that special day. Tiffany had given me the great idea to do a balloon release with birthday notes to Colten tied to them. Not only did the kids love it, but so did the adults. I will do that every year... Thanks Tiffany for that idea. I guess what it all comes down to is that not only did I make it through the day, but it turned out to be a good day!
On another note, I am totally done with my SLPA program!!! I can't believe I made it through. I know it is tacky to boast your own accomplishments too much but I am going to do just that! I went back to school in the fall of 2008. It had been 11 years since I had gone to school but I decided it was time. Colten got diagnosed with leukemia at the very start of my second semester. I spent many hours trying to decide if I was going to postpone my classes for awhile but decided against it. I lugged my computer back and forth to the hospital every time we went and spent Colten's sleeping hours doing classwork. I took summer classes and registered for the fall semester. Again, right before my FULL classload was about to start, we found out that he had relapsed. I wanted nothing more than to quit school then and there! Everyone encouraged me to do just that... I had so much on my plate already. I was just afraid that if I took the semester off, it would take another 11 years for me to go back. So instead I hauled my laptop off to Tucson determined to make it through. When we found out that Colten's cancer wasn't gone and we were planning for the end, I didn't know what to do. I ended up doing a few assignments on our make-a-wish trip even. This was the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life!! And I was doing it during the worst thing I will ever go through in my entire life!! I can't even begin to exp;ain to you all how proud I am of myself. It's not very often I can say that, but I think I rock right at this point. The day I finished the tears just starting rolling down my face (Just like they are writing this). I can't explain how it feels but I can say that it makes me very emotional. I have Colten to thank for this because he was the whole reason I wanted in this field and every time things got tough, I just thought of him and all he went through and knew I could do it! I will be forever grateful to my little boy for this new career and know that he will be smiling down on me everytime I come across a stubborn little Down syndrome kiddo who has no interest in speech:) Love you little man!
And, love to all of you who continue to read my craziness!
Erika
