Nothing new

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile but there is really nothing new to say. We went to California for a few days over spring break and had a really great time. The kids loved the beach and it was so nice to visit with my dad and Sharon. And of course I really loved getting to spend a little time with Lexia and her family! I sure miss having her live here. It was great!

Otherwise, still feeling pretty much the same. I am working through it and knowing that it takes time. I think part of my problem is that I haven't been going to the gym lately. I just can't find the time or the motivation and it's unfortunate because that really was theraputic for me. Maybe I'll get back soon.

I'll post more later along with some pictures

Love,
Erika

Anger and frustration anyone??

I have been having so many emotions that some days I don't even know how to deal with them. I had a great trip to Michigan! I loved every minute with my mom and Glen and it was so amazing to see my family. BUT.... I spent WAY too much time in my own head!! I am so busy at home with the kids, life, and just trying to go on that I don't have very much time to think. While I was gone I had a lot of thinking time and that is when this crazy anger emerged. I am so angry at everything! I am angry at God for taking my baby, I am angry that every day is another day without him, and I am angry that I am so depressed! I am also so very frustrated! I think of how hard Colten fought every day for a whole year and how much he went through with that smile on his face and it frustrates me to no end that it ended like this. How is it even fair that a child so young should have to go through so much only to lose his life in the end?? It just really pisses me off! I am thankful that he is no longer suffering, but can anyone explain to me why he had to suffer in the first place?! These are the questions that get to me. I go through every day with a happy face but this is the stuff that awaits me when I try to go to bed at night. Some days I am not sure how I am ever going to get through this. Of course I know that I will persevere and come out okay.

I also want to ask everyone for some major prayers for a friend of mine. Sharla is a mom I became close to in Tucson and her daughter is Bekah. Colten and Bekah were neighbors in the hospital and had their transplants a week apart. This has been a long hard road for them and now it just got crazy bumpy on them. Bekah is in the PICU in critical condition and needs all the prayers you can give. I am not going to go into detail but my heart is breaking for Sharla and this is all I can do to help, so please pray! If you want to follow her story you can go to her caringbridge. www.caringbridge.org/visit/prayersforbekah

I have been working hard at school already and it is seriously overwhelming me. I am really just not feeling it this semester. Considering I am two weeks from midterms, I hope I get back in the swing of things soon:) My practicuum is going good though and I love being with the kiddos. Even if the drive is ridiculously long:) A big thanks to Jackie for being such a wonderful SLP to learn from.

Thanks again for following my posts, even when I get negative! I have the best friend and family EVER!

Love to all,
Erika