Well, everything has been going okay. School is keeping me really busy and having to get up and leave the house has been pretty good for me. (Even though I complain about it steady:)) David, my friend and the pastor who did Colten's services, gave me these amazing books to read and they are really helping. There are four of them and you read them at different points after the loss. It feels like reading a letter that was written just to me. They are really good. I am learning that everything that I am feeling is completely normal and all a part of the process. I have been thinking about going back to church but realize that it is really hard to do. In my heart I am not exactly angry at God, but I can't help but question His reasoning for things. Who knows, maybe it will help!
Yesterday was my birthday. I was nervous about how I would feel facing something special without my little boy. Thanks to my AMAZING husband and all my wonderful family and friends, I had a PERFECT day!! Of course Colten's absence was felt as it always will be, but it helped me to know that it was okay to still enjoy something special. Dale really went all out! And I started my day with all my favorite girls by going to a movie and getting our nails done:) I have never felt so loved!
We ordered Colten's bench and are anxiously awaiting its arrival. Janet is working as hard as she can to get it here by his birthday. That is just what we are hoping for!
Meanwhile, we are all just taking it a day at a time!
Love to all,
Erika
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
What a fun party last night! So glad we were able to celebrate with you... Still laughing about your "big confession"... LOL!
ReplyDeleteHang in there as you walk through your day to day emotions and remember that God can "hack it". He knows your pain and can handle your anger. Love you and feel so blessed to be your friend.
Great post Erika. It does my heart good to see the Cowell crew getting happy again! You're obviously doing the right thing, so keep it up!!
ReplyDeleteJeff Shoemaker
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteErika,
ReplyDeleteWe often think of you & your family. We will remember Colten & say a prayer as we walk along the track during the Relay for Life. I am going to try to get Ris to decorate the luminaria we got for Colten. I'm sure it will have "I love you" written on it several times. She still misses him says he's so cute.
God Bless all of you,
Elma & Ris